If you've got a long lost uncle in Hanoi . . . .

Nha Trangover

We caught the afternoon bus from Mui Ne to Nha Trang, another beach town about 300 km up the coast. Not too much to report for our time in Nha Trang. Our first day, we awoke to rain, which was followed by more rain. The sky was that eternal grey like we get in Seattle that basically says to check back on the sun tomorrow. By noon, we had given up on a day at the beach. We met up with Tom, which was planned, and were discussing options. We decided the only suitable manner in which to pass the day was pub crawling . . . had our first cocktails shortly after 1:00, met up with Kate and Justin (British couple we met in Mui Ne) a bit later and the five of us continued on late into the night. The next day, we awoke to sunshine and headaches. Megan and I caught a taxi to a nearby spa, famous for mud baths. Guess what we did. We took a hot mud bath, which didn’t do much for my headache, but made my skin silky smooth. Afterwards, we wasted space on the beach and caught back up with the gang for a much tamer evening. The next couple of days were great beach days . . . . nice breeze, lots of sun, and good books. We took a trip one of the mornings to the surrounding islands for a couple dives, which were pretty mediocre as far as things go, but still enjoyable.

Tailor Time

We decided it was time to give ourselves a break from the “Open Tour” bus company, which is the sole bus company on most routes throughout Vietnam. I have renamed them “Open Sore”, a more suitable option as they really do suck. We caught an overnight train to Hoi An. The soft sleeper was music to our backsides as we made our way up the coast. We got into Danang around 11:00 a.m. and caught a taxi down to Hoi An, about 30 km down the road.

The best way I can describe Hoi An is this. If Hoi An was a movie, it would be a chick flick. Brick streets, narrow alleyways, those cheesy Chinese lanterns everywhere (which actually look really good there), a charming river, rickety bridges, beautiful restaurants . . . blah, blah, blah. Fortunately, I don’t mind chick flicks. We had a real nice time there. The main economic activity in Hoi An is tailoring, which Megan and I supported. A sharp black suit, nice wool coat, and lots of shirts, pants, dresses later, we had checked off everything on our shopping list. Although the tailoring experience was fun, the undisputed highlight of Hoi An came on our first night in town. Kate, Justin, Tom, Megan and I met up around 7:00 for dinner and drinks, which led to more drinks, which led to the unforgivable sin of karaoke. A little background for you . . . . In Saigon, I kept bugging Megan about wanting to go sing karaoke. Only problem was that it’s not karaoke as we know it. They have these huge karaoke buildings which look like massive clubs, when in reality it’s about about a dozen private rooms for rent where people can hide out with friends, singing karaoke without the usual self-inflicted torture that comes with a true public performance. Quite disappointing. I’d come to the conclusion that it was either this chicken little version of karaoke or no karaoke at all. Back to the story . . . . around 10:30, we decided it was time to fulfill our rockstar dreams. Around 11:00, we checked into one of these booths armed with an undisclosed number of beers and several bottles of Vietnam’s finest red. The next two hours provided some of the finest laughs of our lives. Tom’s outstanding version of Harry Belafonte’s Day-O topped the charts for the evening, requiring not only one, but two encore performances to end the night, which was well into the a.m.

Also, making the evening more comical was the fact that our karaoke booth was nothing more than a partitioned area on the first floor of a family’s home, not quite as glorious as the establishments we’d seen in Saigon. I have no doubt that this family still hears me sing “In the Jungle, The Lion Sleeps Tonight” in their dreams and Megan sing “Copa Cabana” in their nightmares. I know I do.

The following day, we opted for a lazy day. Megan and I made our way to a nearby pool for an afternoon of relaxation. That evening, I talked to a boat driver and chartered a sunset cruise for the five of us around the river islands off Hoi An. It was a great evening. As darkness fell, we began to see small lights come up everywhere on the river. The lights were small oil lamps that the fishermen hung from the support lines that run to the framework for their large suspension nets . . . . a cool sight.

The next day, I had only one taker, Tom, for my off the beaten tourist path plans. We caught a local ferry across the river to a nearby fishing village. When we got off the boat, we approached one of the village people and negotiated the use of his motor bike for a couple of hours. It was a great afternoon, cruising through the nearby villages and surrounding rice fields, playing chicken with the water buffaloes as they crossed the roads for greener pastures. We invited ourselves to a tour of a small brick factory, which was pretty cool as the people got a kick out of the fact that we wanted to watch them make bricks. Around 6:30, we caught the ferry back to Hoi An where we met back up with Megan, Kate and Justin for dinner.

The following day, Megan and I took a trip out to the My Son temples, the religious center of the Cham people a whole bunch of years ago. The actual temples weren’t terribly impressive, but the mountains surrounding them made for a beautiful visit. It rained on us while we were there which, in a way, added to the experience. In another way, it simply got us wet.

If you’ve got a long lost uncle in Hanoi . . .

The day after our My Son trip, we boarded another overnight train in Danang headed for Hanoi, Vietnam’s capitol. It was a great ride north as we skirted along the lush mountain slopes lining the coast. We got into Hanoi around 5:00 a.m.

If you’ve got a long lost uncle in Hanoi, don’t bother tracking him down . . . . he’s probably a jerk (I’ve got other names in mind, but Megan insisted I show a shred of class . . . very difficult for me). Upon arrival, we exited the train station and decided to catch a cab. It was only a 15 minute walk, but we decided it was in our best interest to learn the city in the light. We found a taxi driver who would run the meter versus a negotiated fare. I knew it was only a 2 km ride so the fare should run around 15,000 dong. We hadn’t gone half a km, when I noticed the meter was already at 25,000 dong / 3.5 km and soaring. I bellowed out a “Stop the $%&**#$ taxi!” The guy pulled over. I told him that I didn’t just get off the damn plane and knew that he was ripping me off. He turned around, headed back for the train station, meter still flying. Another round of expletives and 20,000 dong later, he popped the trunk, I collected the bags, and we found ourselves on Trang Thien Boulevard at 5:15 am with no clue where we were. A friendly security guard got us oriented, and we made our way to the desired area of town in about ten minutes. We got settled into a hotel room and Megan cried her first tears of the trip . . . . tired, frustrated.

I assumed this experience was the exception, not the rule. However, everybody and their brother and your long lost uncle if he lives here, tries to rip you off. Blatant stuff. We’re not talking about asking way too much for a t-shirt in the market . . . . if someone asks too much for something, I can say no. It’s bullshit like people refusing to scan a select few items in a convenience store and breaking out the magic calculator to work up a total. If they’re not screwing you, they’re screwing the business owner. This kind of bullshit has happened time and time again in the 36 hours we’ve been here. I was just informed that our visa extensions would cost an extra $4 each, because we’re from the USA and the guy tried to pawn off some bullshit story about some new law. We had already given him the passports yesterday at the agreed price of $20 each. What can you do, but pay the extra $4? It’s bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

I’m not being paranoid here and I know we’re talking about small change to us, but it still really pisses us off. It’s so bizarre as we haven’t dealt with this to anywhere near this level in other places over the last few months. Well, don’t worry. We’ve started our own campaign to make the people of Hanoi a more welcoming, friendly group of folks. I’ll update you with progress in the next post.

In summary . . .

80 something days into the trip and a handful of tears later, we’re still having a hell of a good time. We’re off to Halong Bay and Cat Ba Island next, then up to the mountains, and eventually into Laos.

Thanks to family and friends for all the e-mails and comments on the blog. It’s really comforting to hear from everybody.